Is the McDonald’s McRib back? Rumors may be floating through the air like hot dogs, but you never know if it’s a trustworthy rumor hot dog, or a hot dog of lies. We’re here to help you separate the wheat from the chaff and the McRib from the McMeatwad.

Signs that the McRib might be back include one or more of the following:

1. Christians start setting park bushes on fire.
2. The boiling point of water shifts by more than two degrees in either direction.
3. A McRib sandwich holds a press conference denying that it was in any way involved in the disappearance of that Geddy Lee statue.
4. The American Idol judges explode into delicious chunks of meat.
5. Sesame Street introduces a talking human rib puppet.
6. Steve Jobs resurrects himself and starts a lemonade stand in Times Square.
7. Arrested Development returns for a three-part movie trilogy in which they explore the hidden world of cardboard.
8. Printouts of this post show up embedded in trees all over the world.
9. Your personal signature changes to a beautifully detailed drawing of Fleetwood Mac. Note that there may be legal implications of your signature changing, and therefore you should consult with your attorney as soon as it appears that the McRib may be returning.
10. Morgan Spurlock’s mustache sends you an urgent telegram asking you to meet it behind the general store at dawn.
11. Flies become immortal.

If the McRib prophesies begin to come true, you should immediately begin taking steps to protect yourself and your family from any End of Days which may follow a McRib return.