I have a remote controlled lobster. It does my bidding. Well, whatever bidding I can express with the remote control. Mostly that involves muting the lobster whenever it gets too noisy. But every now and then I can get him to bring in the mail for me. Sure, sometimes he slices up some letters with those pointy lobster claws, but that’s a small price to pay for not having to bring in the mail myself.

I love my remote controlled lobster.

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