Lemmings
Back in the old days, I used to ride lemmings. Remind me to tell you guys the story of the time we all went out for a burger at the Lemming Ranch. Those were some good times! Too bad the ranch is being torn down at the end of the month. Burgers are sometimes yummy. I tried to hold a benefit concert to benefit the Lemming Ranch, thinking it might be beneficial and make it be less torn down, but I couldn’t get anyone to show up. I even tried enticing them with the possibility of free lemming rides, but people still hung up on me. I even mailed some Lemming Ranch burgers out to possible performers, but I haven’t heard back yet.
My favorite lemming was Slappy. He could race you around the ranch track faster than any other lemming they had, even though he was getting near 80 years old. That’s almost 85 in people years. Slappy also had the best stories. Everyone knew that if you wanted some great stories about the old days, talk to Slappy the Lemming. He didn’t eat burgers, though, which I never understood.
Sadly, Slappy has already been torn down as part of the Lemming Ranch demolition project. Please pledge your support as soon as possible to keep the ranch going!