Slide out that hemoglobin and replace it with something fresher, more modern, and glowier. How about a generous helping of 2003 vintage wire-coated hemoglobin? It has just a hint of nectarine flavor, because nothing says “thank you” to that extra special vampire in your life than fruit flavored blood. Imagine the surprise on their fanged face when they taste that!

Just send your payment in the form of ten 4 of clubses to our Hemoglobin Fulfilment Service (HFS, Inc.), and within 4-6 weeks an unmarked cooler will be delivered to your home, office, trailer park, unmarked grave, or fortress of solitude. Inside will be, no, not the hemoglobin that you were hoping for, but instead a business card with the phone number of our 24×7 on-call hemoglobin engineer. Call him/her/it (sex and species may vary) as soon as you can, and within just a few hours (weather permitting) you will be far more tasty and nectarine-infused.

What are you waiting for? Send us money!

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