If you’re awake late enough, and the moon is full enough, and the sky is clear enough, you just might be able to catch a glimpse of the rare Great Poker Chip descending to the Earth to spread its wisdom.

Many have tried, but few have seen the Great Poker Chip. If you want to try to be one of the select few who has done it, let me offer up a few bits of advice: Stay hidden, keep your sunglasses on, and never let it see you. Keeping a deep-fried onion in your pocket can’t hurt either.

Cameras and unauthorized recording devices are prohibited at all times in the presence of the GPC. Disobey these commandments at your peril.

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