Don’t Rock the Crosstown River
“Don’t rock the crosstown river,” they all said. I think they meant that I shouldn’t knock the river.
“Do you mean that I shouldn’t knock the crosstown river?”
“Don’t tell us what we mean. Don’t do anything with the crosstown river. It hates being rocked. It’ll sue you for sure.”
I thought that they probably had a point there. While all rivers are highly litigious, rumors pointed to the crosstown river as a river that was just “more.” More everything that rivers tend to be. More wet and watery. More filled with frogs.
And so probably more lawsuity also.
“Maybe I’ll just go around the river and try not to have anything to do with it.”
“Oh no!” they all said. “You don’t want it to think that you’re avoiding it. It’ll get mad if it thinks you don’t like it.”
And that’s the story of how I came to buy the crosstown river a traffic cone for its birthday. Don’t worry, no rocking cones here.