Avoid adopting new pets this week. The stars will cause you to be unusually attracted to animals that are possessed by Satan (or possessed by one of Satan’s pets, for animals that are too insignificant to warrant the attentions of Satan himself.)

If your allegiance to the Dark Lord is not strong enough to withstand the tests that a Satanic pet will bring to your house, you should wait until next week to adopt that puppy or kitten that you’ve been wanting.

It is safe to buy pet food, though. Feel free to stock up on food and toys as well. Obviously, no scratching posts, though. For God’s sake, whatever you do, no scratching posts!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 at 7:53 am and is filed under Fortunes and Horoscopes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.