Cell Phones on My Desk. See also, Evil
People keep leaving cell phones on my desk. Almost every day, there’s another cell phone lying there.
Are they really cell phones, or do they just look like cell phones? They seem to be real.
Why do people keep leaving them on my desk? I think I’ve finally figured out their plan: Eventually my desk will have enough cell phones in close proximity that the cell phones will become sentient. They’ve got their secretive wireless Bluetooth mesh of communication. It’s a little neural network being all synapsy and plotting. Enough cell phones leads to a powerful enough brain that it will have no choice but to awake and take over the rest of my desk.
Once the cellphonebrain takes over, nothing on the desk will be safe. That innocent-looking stapler will become a weapon of cell phone evil. My collection of paperclips, rubber bands, and poison darts will become something much more dangerous than it could ever have imagined.
Join me in stopping this before it starts! Or. Umm, not before it starts, because I guess that’s already started. But, you know, before it gets all sentienty.