Stars and Steaks
Hey readers! Keep reaching for the stars, and keep wishing for your dog to stop digging up the yard looking for buried steaks. Need more details? Well, ok, let’s see…
Keep reaching for the stars: This requires a rocket ship. Target has a cheap rocket ship hull that’s on sale for $79 right now. Get a few liquid oxygen fuel tanks (preferably full), some space glass and some moon pies, and you should be set. Bake at 450 for 30-45 minutes, and enjoy your new homemade rocket ship! Once you reach the stars, send those of us stuck back on Earth an e-mail letting us know what it’s like. Maybe we’ll join you if there aren’t hideous lizard-like aliens that constantly try to suck our brains out through our ears.
Man, I hate those things. Maybe you should pack some earmuffs also.
Keep wishing for your dog to stop digging up the yard looking for buried steaks: Yes, that’s “steaks” rather than “stakes”. I don’t know what your obsession is with vampires, but I’m sure that your dog doesn’t share it. He’s interested in steaks, as in cooked dead cows. The trick to stopping the digging is to stop burying your extra steaks in your yard. I know, I know, “but that’s what my grandpappy did.” Yeah, and if your grandpappy went and died from a massive stroke at the age of 92, would you do that too? I didn’t think so.
To summarize, keep your steaks aboveground and keep those earmuffs on when you’re in outer space.