You know all those “cell phones” that all the kids are “talking” on these days? It’s all a big hoax. The government-military complex just wants us all to have individual tracking devices so that they can find out where we are at any time.

Say NO! Resist Big Brother! Burn your cell phone!

Do you really think there’s some way they can let you talk to somebody miles away, without any wires connecting you? Think about it for a second. There, did you think about it? Is there any possible way for that to actually work? No, of course not. It’s all done with pre-recorded messages, mild hypnosis, and mirrors. Penn and Teller would be proud.

No, wait. Penn and Teller would be pissed off. The right way to talk to someone hundreds of miles away is to get in a bus and drive there, in real-time, with the bus veering off to the side slightly so you really do have to pay attention and sit there. When you finally arrive, then you can have a real conversation with the other person. Mirrors and sleight-of-cellphone aren’t the way to do it.

And text messages? Come on! That’s as rediculous as talking to someone without wires. Let’s look at the acronym SMS. SMS stands for Simple Mind Simulation. It’s nothing more than an artificial intelligence program that simulates the other side of a conversation so that you think you’re talking to a real person. If you try to come up with a complicated question, you’ll undoubtedly get some gibberish back that’s just a random mix of letters and numbers.

Join me in abandoning your government-mandated personal tracking devices, and returning to the real world of talking through wires as Thor intended.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 at 3:53 pm and is filed under Conspiracy Theories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.