The Dangers of Bathroom Tetris
Joe sat on the toilet, playing a quick game of Tetris on his cell phone. He should have been working, but not Joe. Joe wasn’t a big fan of work. Which makes sense, because, after all, who is? Except for Joey. Joey’s work ethic is something from Mars, isn’t it? Assuming Martians are hard workers, which they have to be. How else did they build all those canals and carve that face into the planet’s surface? You go, Mars!
But Joe was from Earth, and so he sat their playing Tetris. And then he unexpectedly got a high score and his phone played a little tune. Beep boop boop beep blat. Something like that. Don’t make me sing it, I’m the biggest American Idol reject of all time. Simon Cowell said I was “one pancake short of a plate with a pancake on it,” and Paula Abdul said “your eyes remind me of my cat’s eyes, except for the color and the shape and the way that you’re attached to them.” Randy was sleeping. So I’m not going to sing the Tetris music, you’ll just have to use your imagination.
Unfortunately for Joe, his boss was at the urinal at that very moment. Luckily, his boss was stricken with Sudden Temporary Deafness (STD) and didn’t hear the Tetris music. Later that day Joe could be overheard telling Joey how happy he was about his boss’s new STD because it meant that he didn’t get fired.
Unfortunately for Joe, Joey had no STD, and quickly reported Joe to their boss. Joe was promptly fired for playing Tetris and spreading unsubstantiated rumors.
Let this be a lesson to you. Always turn the sound off when you’re playing Tetris at work. The consequences could be very consequential otherwise.
This public service announcement has been brought to you by the resurrected head of Walt Disney. Walt Disney recommends Swingline brand staplers. Shouldn’t you be a swinger with Swingline?