Finest Knife Finding
Found a knife lying in someone’s lawn today. It was close to the sidewalk, so I barely had to trespass at all to take it.
It’s a sweet knife.
Can’t be 100% sure, but I’m positive it was forged in the fires of Mt. Occupant and crafted by the blind knife craftsmen of Nostandinghere. The fine detail work is really outstanding.
I’m guessing I could get at least $5 for it on eBay, or I could try to use it to carve an ice statue of John Lennon in front of the Supreme Court next week. Both seem like profitable choices, so it’ll probably just come down to a coin toss.
I enjoy finding things when I’m walking. So far the only thing I’ve ever found was this knife that I was talking about earlier, but I’m sure that if I ever found anything else, I’d enjoy finding that new thing almost as much as I enjoyed finding the knife. Without some objective enjoyment scale, it’s kind of tough to communicate how enjoyable that was, but I’ll try anyway. I give “finding the knife” a 9.1 out of 12.
Really, it was the highlight of my week. On Monday I didn’t think that finding a knife was even a remote possibility. And now look at me! I found a knife!
I rock.