Any Questions?
As the sun sets on another successful month of sales here at Sell That Thing, Inc., we’d like to take this opportunity to remind you, the little guys (the salesmen) what’s really important this holiday season.
What’s important is selling that thing that we sell.
I know that there are probably some new guys on board, sitting in the back, wanting to raise their hand to ask “what holiday season could we possibly be in right now?” But they don’t ask, because they’re scared of what the rest of us will think of them.
And that’s good, because otherwise these holiday messages would never end. One interruption after another, stupid question after stupid question; that’s what new salesmen are all about. You new guys better take a tip from the veterans: don’t ask questions.
Don’t question the holiday seasons. Don’t question the reindeer antlers that we hot-glue to Carl’s head from May through September. Don’t question the Donkey Kong game in the break room that everyone always crowds around even though it hasn’t worked in nine years.
Don’t question the cherry pie graphs or the grape-flavored financial statements. Don’t question the life-sized replica of K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider that’s sitting in the lobby. Don’t question the midget lying down inside the life-sized replica pretending to be the voice of K.I.T.T. Or maybe he’s doing K.A.R.R. I could never keep those straight.
Don’t question the weekly Dousing of the Computers. Don’t question the impressionistic paintings of machine guns that cover the walls of the conference room. Don’t question the lack of restrooms. Don’t question the cream cheese containers in the bathroom.
Never, ever touch the cream cheese containers.
So, now that we’re all up to speed, let’s get selling! Take advantage of the giving nature of people during the holidays. See if there’s some way for them to give you their money in exchange for the things that we sell.
And Happy Holidays!