Sinus Cleansing
I have developed a great new sinus treatment. You know those times when you have a particularly nasty cold, and your sinuses are completely clogged with a pasty, semi-solid gunk? And how traditional methods of sinus cleansing simply can’t penetrate the gunk?
Yes, we’ve all run into that. Some people go so far as to pour a plumbing unclogger into their nose (e.g., Liquid Plumr) and let it sit for 20-30 minutes to completely unclog their sinuses. However, these plumbing liquids were not intended for use on humans, and many people have been known to develop a porcelain finish over their skin after doing this. Others have simply died as it eats away at their bones and winds up eating through their brain. It’s an interesting way to go, though, because your brain will give you some interesting sensations and hallucinations as it’s deteriorating.
Truly psychadelic!
But that just seems a bit extreme to me. The way I’ve found to work best is to simply use a garden variety pressure washer. Pressure wash the grit and gunk right out of your sinuses in just a few seconds! It’s like a miracle cure! Order now, supplies are limited.
Disclaimer: Do not pressure wash your sinuses or pour plumbing unclogger into them. Doing so may lead to having a bad evening. Your common cold isn’t that bad, just suck it up and deal with it. Quit your whining and your weird cures and your strange hair. Just heal your body from within with the power of Frogger, the arcade game. Pray to Frogger and he will make all right with you and your friends and family. Because that’s just the kind of frog he is.