Double Feature Horror
Phil went to the cinema today. It was a double feature, and while he should have been thrilled to get twice the value for his movie money, he left feeling unsatisfied. The theater was dark, the way it should have been, but there was something vaguely unsatisfactory in the way the movie was decoded from the film reels to the theater’s screen.
Phil couldn’t figure out what the problem was at the time. In fact, it took several years before the issue with that theater finally left the back of his mind and became clear to him at the front of his mind. But when it did, it froze his blood with the evilness and dastardlihood of the whole scheme.
To reveal the details here would put both me and you, the reader, in extremely perilous peril. I cannot do that to you and still sleep soundly at night. Maybe I can look into taking some sleeping pills to help with that. If I find anything that seems like it would work and let me forget about the life-threatening situation I would be putting you in, then I can go ahead and tell you all about it. But until I finish that sleeping pill research, I’ll just have to keep quiet about Phil’s discovery.
Actually, you know what? My attic is little more than weakly reinforced balsa wood. If our enemies wanted to attack my attic, they wouldn’t need any kind of elaborate battle plan. They could just lob water balloons at it and wind up doing a fair amount of damage to it. Maybe even destroying it altogether. I really can’t risk that happening to my attic, regardless of how soundly I can sleep through it.
So I’m sorry to say that I can’t reveal the secret truth no matter how soundly I sleep afterwards. All I’ll say is it has something to do with subliminal hypnosis and mass armies of zombies spreading across the world. I hope that doesn’t give away too much.
Hey, you! Get away from my attic with those balloons! For all I know you could have water in them!