Pointless Forest
Did you see the forest that someone put up on the side of I-95 last night? You know, just past the gas station.
Is it just me, or is that a completely pointless forest?
I thought that maybe that region was a little low on oxygen, and so somebody hoped to cheat the natural photosynthesis balance by putting up a new forest overnight. But all my air quality and oxygen/nitrogen concentration readings show that there hasn’t been any real chance in the air since that forest showed up.
Then I thought that maybe there were some evil leprechauns who wanted to hide a fake pot of gold in the forest, and then build a fake rainbow in a few days to lure unsuspecting tourists to what would certainly be a death trap. But I called in my friend Steve who’s a professoinal leprechaun hunter, and we spend about 15 hours exploring that forest. We even set some leprechaun traps to check the next day. No sign of leprechauns. Not even leprechaun droppings that would indicate that they were there at one point.
So then I wondered if the forest was a test from God. I decided to sacrifice my children to Him to see if anything would happen. No, nothing. I doubt that God put the forest there, especially without any instructions on who he wanted us to sacrifice in it. God usually doesn’t work that way, usually there are better instructions. It was worth a shot, though.
At this point, all I can do is assume that the forest is completely pointless. If you have any thoughts or insights into what the point of the forest might be, please leave them in the comments. Maybe we can get a rag-tag group of Internet people to team up and solve the Mystery of the Pointless Forest once and for all. Who’s with me?