Lost in Bolivia
The complete movie script for Lost in Bolivia:
EXT. BOLIVIAN JUNGLE - DAY?
ZELAZO and ZINDA hack their way through the dense jungle,
some place in Bolivia. It's probably daytime, but the
denseness of the trees and other jungle substances make it
impossible to tell for sure.
ZELAZO
I rue the day that you and your
brain and its brainpan talked me
into coming to Bolivia. My nitride
levels must have been extremely
deficient that morning.
ZINDA
Don't be verbally erupting over my
brainpan, you jerk. That kind of
fake edginess makes you sound like
a zombie geisha, not a rainforest
explorer who would kill a bird for
little more than improper bleating.
ZELAZO
I don't even care any more. My
lack of decorum is entirely due to
my frayed sanity after being here
for all these many years.
ZINDA
It's only been two hours!
ZELAZO
Your unnecessary lies are like a
bulldozer running over my heart.
They slash through my brain like a
butter knife through a brain. Stop
your lying, this isn't Arkansas
anymore.
ZINDA
I do not lie, even to an
undependable towel of a man like
you. It's only been two hours.
Zelazo doesn't reply, and instead just keeps hacking through
the brush and rainforest creatures that are in his way.
INT. AIRPLANE, FLIGHT 447 - NIGHT
Zelazo and Zinda are flying back home. Most of the rest of
the passengers are sleeping for the long flight, but Zinda
and Zelazo are still awake.
ZELAZO
I'm so glad that we finally got
rescued. Though my shoes are
tarnished and shall never be used
for golf again.
ZINDA
Rescued? We had tickets for this
flight. We knew we were going to
the airport tonight all along. Who
put larvae in YOUR yams?
ZELAZO
My yams are just fine, no thanks to
you. I'll be having nightmares and
screaming through my sleep for the
next 15 years because of this. And
did I mention my shoes?
ZINDA
Your shoes will be fine with some
water, that dirt will wash right
off.
ZELAZO
(angrily)
They've been defiled and will never
be golf-worthy again! Why do you
tango so rudely with my emotions!?
Zinda immediately falls asleep, leaving Zelazo to wander the
aisles of the plane for the next few hours. What is he
looking for? His sanity? A midget hiding in the luggage
compartments? Only the sequel will reveal that.