Fashion Advice, Fall 2006
Warming is “in” this season and has usurped cooling as the hottest fad amongst HVAC appliances. In fact, warming is a bona fide “hot” thing to be doing. Cooling? Much less hot for the fall and winter seasons.
It’s too soon to completely rule cooling out. The hottest trendsetters are always willing to go for a retro craze at the drop of a pair of bell-bottom pants, so who knows when cooling could make a comeback. Given the ever-decreasing periodicity of the cool/uncool/retro cool cycle, cooling could be back in as soon as the spring fashion season!
So don’t throw out your ice cubes and Freon jars just yet. You should certainly keep them hidden out of sight in case prying fashionistas or experimental cold fusionists show up at your house and start searching for proof of how hip or unhip you are, of course. We don’t want anyone finding out that you still have a secret ice cream stash when it’s so not the thing to be eating right now. But it can’t hurt to hide it well so that you’re prepared if it ever comes back in style.
Also out of style this season are hurricanes. We know that many of you went a little overboard and bought far too many hurricanes last year, when they were the hot new thing that everyone had to have. But this year they just aren’t the must-have accessory that they used to be. In fact, we believe that it’s only a few short months before you will be able to be seen in public without a single hurricane. I know, I know, it sounds utterly ridiculous and totally uncool. But you read our column because you want to know what the upcoming trends are, not because you need some confirmation of the current state of things. And we’re all about bold predictions, so we’re making that one. Check back in a few months and we’ll see how we did. If we were wrong, we’re fully prepared to eat our own eyelids to make up for our poor prognosticating.
Speaking of eyelids, we’re not completely convinced that they will remain “in” for much longer. A good rebellious streak is always appreciated, and what better way to show your parents and grandparents that they’re unhip and out of it than to flaunt your eyelid-less eyes in front of them and their old and tired eyelids? We’re not going to go so far as to actually make a prediction of how “out” eyelids will become, because it’s definitely not a definite thing. We’re just saying that we wouldn’t be surprised if this strict eyelid society gets shaken up a bit in the next few years.