The Ugly Clown
Citizens be on high alert tonight, the tackiest, spikiest, wildcattiest one is coming. Yes, it’s the ugly clown, coming right here to our little town. And when he or she arrives, everyone in sight will be violently tacked, spiked, and/or wildcatted to within an inch of their life.
Do you think you can run from the ugly clown? You cannot.
Do you think you can hide from the ugly clown? You cannot. Well, you can try hiding in that secret trapdoor under the gas station on Nunstoble Lane, but I’m pretty sure the clown could find you there. Especially now that I’ve mentioned it here, since I’m pretty sure the ugly clown reads everything I say. He or she also might know everything that I think, but that’s a whole other issue.
Do you think your toenails will be safe from his rusty toenail clipper? They will not.
Do you think your neatly arranged flowers on your dining room table will stay so neatly arranged after the ugly clown is done with them? No. They will be in disarray. No flower arranger would be able to set his eyes upon them without bursting into tears and falling to the ground, spasming in pain from the sight of the poorly arranged flowers.
Such is the curse of the ugly clown. Shield the cattle and bring out the moldy cheese, the ugly clown is coming to town!