Louis the Bedraggled Alpaca
Louis the bedraggled alpaca got out of bed and walked downstairs. His coffee pot was gurgling with his morning’s coffee, fully formulated in the form of liquid coffee. Some alpacas preferred to start their days with large gobs of taffy or a cherry martini, but not Louis. Louis thought he was people.
Riding the subway into work, Louis would usually stand near the middle and try to read a newspaper. Other people seemed to be able to read a newspaper with one hand while holding on with the other hand, but Louis never seemed to be able to get the hang of it. Probably because he was an alpaca and didn’t have any hands.
At work, Louis always got the impression that he was being passed over for promotions and fun business trips to Las Vegas and Hawaii. And he was, because he was an alpaca, and his company had a strict No Animals Allowed policy. They looked the other way for Louis because he was so productive, but they couldn’t bend the rules that much to actually give him a promotion. Or a paycheck, for that matter.
Poor Louis the bedraggled alpaca. One day when his alpacan spine got stronger, he might stand up for his rights, either by demanding a promotion or by gunning down everyone else in the office with a sawed-off shotgun. I’m not sure which it will be.
Remember kids, don’t be like Louis the alpaca! Stay in school and stay human!