Playstation 3 Overbid and Things in My Brain
Did I overbid on the Playstation 3 that showed up on eBay this morning? I felt like I had stickpins sticking into my brain when I looked at the pictures, because they were so bright and shiny and full of unusual rectangular shapes that my eyes had never seen before, and that my brain could never have conceived of on its own.
But there the images were, stained on my monitor like the stains on my couch where my friends once set it on fire to see what would happen, and I was forced to extinguish the blaze with tomato juice and caviar. That was the same day that Nedned moved to Tennessee, even after we had all said that Tennessee had nothing but valium and olive canneries. And what would Nedned ever do with cans of olives? He didn’t even like olives.
But Nedned moved there anyway, and my couch became stained. Once in a while I remember those wonderful days of yesteryear when Nedned still lived down the street and my couch was its natural polka dot color. But then the present shows up, slaps me in the face, and demands that I pay more attention to it and less attention to the past. I hate to hurt its feelings, so I give in.
But back to my PS3. I think I paid too much. My bribery skills aren’t what they used to be after years of neglect. They have withered and turned to fat which I’m now storing in my neck jowls, since that seemed like the best place to put it. One day I hope to revive my bribery skills, take them out of my neck jowls, and put them back in my bribing glands where they belong.
Until then, I’ll just hoot quietly at my computer screen in excitement at the waterfall of colors that my brain thinks it sees. Silly brain, Trix are for mouths, not you. That’s the last time I stick cereal directly into my brain. Well, until the next time I do it, of course. It’s better than trying to get the cereal in through my ears, since then they just get coated in earwax, which is even worse for my brain than Cheerios.
And putting cereal into my brain through my eyes, well, that’s just silly. I’m not even going to dignify that with a response, except to respond by saying that the buttons on your jacket are getting a little bit jerky and jagged. You should get a new jacket. Try eBay but be careful not to bid too high.