The Connection Between Trampolines and Olives
I say you should kindly and gently suck those pimentos out, you olive enforcer you.
Actually, on second thought, maybe it shouldn’t even be kind pimento sucking, maybe you should burrow into the ground to get a good foothold and then go for it with gusto!
Or not, up to you. Don’t let me tell you how to treat your olives.
If you were the kind of person who would let me tell you how to treat your olives, I would have to jump to conclusions and conclude that you would also let me tell you how to shake your rattlesnake or what kind of cows would most enjoy having a trampoline. But that’s not a good thing.
Cows should be able to test out trampolines and other elastic bouncy things without having to be watched by people like you or me, and all our preconceived ideas about cows and trampolines.
But hey, if you want to make the cows feel uncomfortable, just go ahead and let me tell you what you should do with your olives. Just don’t ask me for my whiskey juice late at night when you have a broken trampoline with a large, cow-shaped hole in it. That’s not my job. Get your own whiskey, you freeloader.