Immobile Web Sites
Sometimes things don’t move the way I’d like them to move.
Take this web page. Just a few minutes ago I tried to move it over to the right by a few feet. You’d think that would be a pretty easy task, given that it’s all digital and made from flexible space age materials that should bend to our will.
You’d be wrong, it turns out to be almost impossible to move a web page over even a few inches. I think the powerful space age materials are too strong for humans to move or adjust them in any way at all.
Something about that very concept just seems wrong; it seems that we should be developing web page materials that do what we want, not materials that force us to do whatever they want us to do. What happened to our futuristic society filled with robots, self-cleaning ovens, and jetpacks? Why do I need to hire a group of Mexicans to spend all day pushing and pulling on this web site to move it over to the right a few feet, when a bunch of scientists could be developing more flexible materials?
But no, they’re all busy curing cancer and polishing their acting chops in the hopes of getting a guest role on People’s Court or CSI: Miami or I Love Lucy or the latest Michael Bay movie. Why can’t we force scientists to do what I want them to do? Why should they be free to be all selfish and crazy like that?
Especially when you run the risk of leaving your entire web site on the wrong side of the house because it’s too hard to move. What if that side of the house turns into the bad neighborhood and your web site gets stolen? Can you sue the scientists then? Isn’t it their fault that your web site was stolen in the first place, since they never got around to developing easier-to-move materials?
I don’t know, I’m no lawyer, but it sounds like a slam dunk to me. It also gives me a headache, thinking about this kind of stuff. I better go lie down in the cozy shelter I built behind this site. Jeff Probst would be so proud of this shelter, he’d give me $200,000 just because I deserved it.