Zircon Brownies
Ah, the sweet taste of zircon. Bite into a big chunk of zircon and imagine the zirconian juices sliding down your throat like lemonade mixed with ground glass, plus just a hint of rainbows. Is there anything sweeter in the world? It’s possible, but I don’t know of anything that would qualify.
Sometimes I like to mix up zircon with 3 ounces of snakeroot, a small jiggle of greasy literalism, 5 hayseeds, one tablespoon of mushroom oil, and a chicken feather. Bake that at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes and enjoy! Cut into brownie-shaped squares. Serves 18. I make that sometimes when I have guests over, and have received nothing but incredulous raves. People really love my zircon brownies.
I really want to go on and on raving about the sublime taste of zircon, but just writing about it is making me ravenous to have some. And unfortunately nobody around here sells any. Now that seems like complete insanity: sure, it’s expensive and not every hobo and bodo can afford it, but what about those of us who can? Why should be be forced to suffer and be denied that exquisite taste? Why does everybody keep picking on me and my zircon addiction?
Life is completely unfair. I feel tempted to head over to Myspace for a rant session, but I understand that there are aliens on there who may not only steal my zircon, but possibly my soul and my credit cards as well. I think it’s best to just stay over here in the safe part of the Internet and hope to find someone who sells zircon over the phone or something.
Let me know if you find any! Please don’t eat it all without me!