She Saw a Spiderweb
She saw a spiderweb.
But this was no ordinary spiderweb.
No, this was a spiderweb of amazing scale.
Its width and height were unprecedented, but so was its depth.
Never in the entire varied history of Apologian Viedman’s life had she ever seen a spiderweb that could compare to this one.
It was so deep.
Most spiderwebs are flat, two-dimensional things.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being flat and two-dimensional. Some of my best friends have spiderwebs that are flat and two-dimensional. Heck, some of my best friends even have flat cobwebs, and I still speak with those people.
But the spiderweb that Apologian was staring at right now? Well, it was something special.
After all, it had an extra dimensional advantage over most other spiderwebs.
It had depth.
Pixar animators would have been proud to have to have met it in person.
Pixar engineers would have been thrilled to compare notes on Z-plane filling algorithms.
People who didn’t work at Pixar at all would have been interested in taking a scoop out of the spiderweb and mounting it on a wall in their den, as if to say to the world, “Hey world, I killed and decapitated this piece of spiderweb! Look at how impressive it looks here on my wall!”
Apologian was a different kind of person (she didn’t even have a den, if you can believe that.)
Apologian just stood there and watched the spiderweb as it swayed back and forth in the breeze.
Later, while on a safari in Africa, Apologian remembered that spiderweb — how could she forget it? — and was able to tell its story to a large African spider that had been strutting around as if it was the coolest spider in the world.
After Apologian told her story, that spider felt sad.
That spider signed up for livejournal and got all emo.
That spider wrote depressing — albeit amateurish — poetry, full of depthy symbolism and a strong dash of xenophobia.
For the deep spiderweb had changed the world.
That deep spiderweb seemed to have created a vortex of confusion, originality, chubbiness, and orchestral stabs that glistened up the soundtrack at all the right moments.
And that is the story of the spiderweb.
Tags: 3D, livejournal, Pixar, spiderweb