The Manatees Defeat the Toenail Invasion
“Can we not allow her goodly toenails into our building?” Trinoses asked. His eyebrows were arched so severely that several passing undercover agents did a double-take and took detailed notes about the archiness of Trinoses’s eyebrows.
“Her toenails may still not be allowed. They are far too menacing to be allowed anywhere near the Puffy Manatee Cabinet.”
Trinoses stared at the unexpectedly negative toenail verdict, and eventually stormed out, but not without first zapping his initials in the cordite pork that somebody had left on the table. He didn’t have anything against cordite pork, per se, but he was just very proud of his initials: TTT. Do initials get any better than that? Trinoses didn’t think so, and so he was always TTTing around.
He tried to spread the word of the denied tonails, but unfortunately he wasn’t able to. That was because Trinoses had unexpectedly come down with the Avian Cowpox, and had to be quarantined in the basement to keep the city safe. Not even the rice merchants were allowed to visit him.
Years later the courts would hear his lawsuit claiming that depriving him of rice was cruel and inhumane, and amounted to torture and violation of the Geneva Convention. The court ruled against Trinoses, however. After all, when was the last time a court had ruled against the government? That would be sheer insanity, and a complete violation of the natural order of society. If the judicial system and the government don’t stick together, why, we’re liable to wind up with a huge bowl of anarchy on our hands, and I’m just not hungry enough to eat that whole bowl.
But back to the toenails. They proceeded into the city and got dangerously close to the Puffy Manatee Cabinet. Luckily, tragedy was averted at the last minute, thanks to a large wall of figs that the manatees had cleverly ordered to be built mere moments earlier.
Soon our children will be painting pictures of the manatees’ successful toenail defense, but for now this story will have to suffice. I hope I have done it justice, it was a proud moment in our manatee ancestors’ histories, even if Trinoses didn’t play much of a role.
Poor Trinoses.
Tags: figs, Geneva Convention, initials, lawsuits, manatee, quarantine, rice, toenails