Karl Rove on American Idol
Poor Karl Rove.
There he was, innocently sitting on his couch and watching the American Idol results show. He had no idea what was about to befall him. He was pure and innocent as driven snow, uncorrupted and virginal.
And then disaster struck: David Hernandez was voted off.
Karl Rove just sat there in shock. David Hernandez, that sweet gay stripper? How could the people of America vote him off of American Idol so coldheartedly? Didn’t they empathize with David’s secret dreams and desires? Or was Karl Rove the only one who really understood him?
Either way, Karl Rove was still in shock. Tears started welling up in his eyes, although he tried to put on a brave, strong face around those teary eyes. But nobody was tricked; they easily saw how deeply this vote had affected poor Karl Rove.
What they didn’t know was how Karl Rove would react. Would he just sit on the couch and cry like he did when Saddam Hussein stopped returning his phone calls? Or would he turn green, grow disturbingly steroidial muscles, and start smashing things with his hulking grunting sounds that always scared the working class? Everyone enjoyed watching the working class huddled scared in their hovels, but if they had to vote, they would vote for the quiet, crying Karl Rove.
How did he react? Who will go home next? Will William Shatner crawl out of Ryan Seacrest’s shirt pocket and devour the entire audience? You’ll just have to tune in to find out. FOX, Tuesdays. Be there or be The Incredible Hulk.
Tags: American Idol, David Hernandez, Incredible Hulk, Karl Rove, Ryan Seacrest, Saddam Hussein, William Shatner