Required Ingredients for a Fun Party
There are several ingredients that you must have if you’re trying to throw a fun and memorable party. I will now list them here, in one convenient place, for your party-throwing pleasure. If you would be so kind as to invite me to your party, I would be most appreciative. If you use this advice without inviting me to your party, I might have to sit at home alone and cry. You wouldn’t want that on your conscience, would you?
And now, with just a little further ado, the most important ingredients for a fun party:
- werewolf liver
- poisonous nicknames (e.g., “Molly”, or “Nevermore”)
- sneeze syrup
- millions of molecules of mermaid milk
- a titlark
- no scythes
- antisocial thermostats
- 1/2 cup sugar
- junkie squids
- a dash of garlic
- chocolate chip blue jeans
- Paula Abdul
- a representative from the Wildcat Wrestling Federation (WWF)
- one gravity
- a noisy and nebulous night
If I hear — and I do have my sources — that you have thrown a party using my ingredient list (or any portion thereof) and have not invited me, my wrath will be biblical and swift. There will be no cookies or ice cream in my wrath, it will instead be all wrathy and mean. That’s right. Mean.
You can leave your party invitations below in the comments. If the comments are so fully packed with existing invitations that you can’t squeeze yours in — and I expect that to be the case within a few short hours of posting this — then feel free to send me a postcard invitation instead. I accept invitations of all kinds.