Happy Birthday United States of America
Today, the Fourth of July, I wish a fond Happy Birthday to these United States of America, and hope that you are able to blow out all of the candles on your first blow. I sing this Independence Day — not the one with Will Smith — birthday song to you:
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear America
Happy birthday to you
From your shining blue seas
To your genetically enhanced trout festivals
Your birthday will seize the imaginations of lesser countries
But not of greater countries
Since they couldn’t care less
From your fields of wheat
To your meals of sheets
From your rocket’s red glare
To your Victorian goblets of Buddhist mercy
Your birthday is a fun day
Happy happy happy happy happy happy birthday
Your childlike mothball factories are awesome
And your ceramic rodent lawn ornaments are awesome, too
But nothing is as awesome
As your birthday day to me.
(Repeat)
Come on everyone, sing along!
Tags: birthday, July, songs, USA, Will Smith