25 Random Things About Me
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
25 Random Things about me, as seen on Facebook, in no particular order…
- My blood acts as a coolant system, leaving me always chilled and never sweaty.
- When I was 7, I accidentally an entire cheeseburger!
- David Hasselhoff once appeared to me in a dream, and instructed me to build a large ark that would be capable of holding a male and female of every kind of animal. When I asked him for assistance with the logistics of capturing animals such as mosquitoes, microscopic organisms, killer whales, and so on, he just laughed maniacally and vanished in a puff of chocolate-smelling smoke. I never built the ark, but nothing bad seems to have come of that.
- I have a medical condition that leaves me unable to taste cinnamon.
- I have never been to Canada, and hope that I can uphold my principles by never setting foot in that accursed land.
- Up until I was 17, I thought that “pencil” was a synonym for “raccoon,” which led to many confusing years of school.
- I have to blink my eyes many times during the day in order to keep them lubricated.
- The lunchtime of my soul is usually not dark — unlike tea-time — but is often kind of a medium brown color. When I was younger my soul was more teal, but I hated that and always got picked on by the other kids. I think that played a large role in shaping the person that I am today.
- I played the role of the gym teacher, Mr. Waddel, at my high school prom.
- Last week I received a cease and desist letter from Mr. Waddel, my old high school gym teacher, asking me to refrain from impersonating him in the future, and to publish a formal notice in local newspapers announcing my illegal impersonations of him throughout my life. My lawyer advised me not to take any action or make any comments about it until he tells me what to do, but I’ve never let other people boss me around. Take that, expensive lawyer!
- I would become a vegetarian if it wasn’t for how incredibly delicious meat tastes.
- My goal in life is to retire before I turn 25. So far I’m 44 years past that goal, but I think it’s important to have goals in life, so I keep at it.
- I have never been in a cheerleading squad.
- I’ve always wondered what would happen if you put Ledo’s pizza in a blender with a Five Guys hamburger and some avocado eggrolls from The Cheesecake Factory. Would the universe be able to handle it? Would it taste like the tears of angels? Or like some other secretions from a heavenly humanoid? Questions like that often keep me up way too late at night.
- I fall asleep instantly at 7:48 pm every night, regardless of the local time zone or daylight savings time status. This has put quite a crimp in my social life over the years, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
- One day I hope to set up a dial-in BBS with at least two phone lines, 9600 baud or better. Cost will be no object.
- I’m usually able to convince my brain that every day is Friday. This is bittersweet on Mondays, boring on Fridays, and disgustingly twisted on Saturdays.
- I have never driven a golf cart.
- I hate the taste of beer, wine, coffee, and diseased cow brains.
- I think going to the moon was mankind’s greatest accomplishment, and predict that it’s all going to be downhill from here. Wars, famine, overpopulation, and religious extremism will be the downfall of the entire human race.
- I once sang backup vocals for Pink Floyd while driving in my car. I still look back on that day as one of the happiest days of my life, and have a hard time not talking about it non-stop.
- I once created a web site called “The Days of Dark Soup” at darksoup.com, but abandoned it the very next day. Now it just sits ignored, dusty and moss-covered, with only the occasional post from a poorly trained rabbit with a tiny, rabbit-oriented vocabulary.
- Between the ages of 4 and 7 I wrote the definitive academic thesis on The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is still referenced by Rocky scholars to this day.
- I have an unusual allergy to the Wikipedia website. It doesn’t extend to other Wikipedia projects like Wikibook or Wikitravel, but it does cover Wikipedia articles in any form — on the screen, printed out, read on a Kindle, etc. Every doctor I’ve seen has been baffled. Jimbo Wales thinks I’m a sock puppet and refuses to talk to me.
- In even-numbered years I love coconut, and would go so far as to say that it’s the most amazing food ever created. In odd-numbered years I can’t stand it and come close to vomiting from the mere smell of anything coconut-like. One year I gorged myself on Mounds bars on New Year’s Eve, knowing that I couldn’t eat them for the next year. Unfortunately, at midnight I had such a severe reaction to the coconut that was in my stomach that I had to be rushed to the emergency room and have my stomach pumped. I was in a coma for 9 days.
Tags: allergies, BBS, blood, Canada, cheeseburger, Cheesecake Factory, cinnamon, coconut, David Hasselhoff, eye lubrication, Five Guys, gym, Jimbo Wales, meat, moon, Pink Floyd, pizza, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Wikipedia