http://darksoup.com Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:31:13 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Everyone gets Christmas or Channukah presents that they don't want. Sometimes it's an ugly holiday sweater, other times it's a Wii Fit (when all you really want to do is lie on the couch and absorb calories through your pores.) Maybe it's a major league football team, which ... http://darksoup.com/2008/12/26/how-to-deal-with-unwanted-christmas-presents/ Welcome! It's another Friday, September 5, 2008, and you know what that means! As with all September 5th, 2008s that fall on a Friday, it's porcupine movie scripts day! Hooray! You can read the complete shooting draft of the screenplay below, or you can down the PDF script ... http://darksoup.com/2008/09/05/porcupines-are-deadly/ We have a new short film movie script up for you all to enjoy. This screenplay is for Trigonometry McCain and the Potatoes of Doom, which might sound like a fast-paced high concept action adventure masterpiece, but is really a subtle and poignant observation on politics, potatoes, and Prussia. You ... http://darksoup.com/2008/09/02/trigonometry-mccain-and-the-potatoes-of-doom/ If you go to your bedroom and open the antique cabinet in there --- you know, the one that was probably once used by Thomas Edison until Howard Hughes swept in on his gigantic flying cricket and stole it from him --- I think you'll be in for a surprise. ... http://darksoup.com/2008/07/14/antique-cabinet-replacement/ Today, the Fourth of July, I wish a fond Happy Birthday to these United States of America, and hope that you are able to blow out all of the candles on your first blow. I sing this Independence Day --- not the one with Will Smith --- birthday song ... http://darksoup.com/2008/07/04/happy-birthday-united-states-of-america/ There are several ingredients that you must have if you're trying to throw a fun and memorable party. I will now list them here, in one convenient place, for your party-throwing pleasure. If you would be so kind as to invite me to your party, I would be ... http://darksoup.com/2008/06/30/required-ingredients-for-a-fun-party/ "Stup!" he shouted. Why should I stup now? This neighborhood has to be the least stuppiest place I've ever seen or imagined. And trust me, I've been around. I spent a month in the lair of the breakfast puma, constantly hiding from his enraged Rice Krispies tantrums and ... http://darksoup.com/2008/06/18/another-way-of-stupping/ Poor Karl Rove. There he was, innocently sitting on his couch and watching the American Idol results show. He had no idea what was about to befall him. He was pure and innocent as driven snow, uncorrupted and virginal. And then disaster struck: David Hernandez was voted off. Karl Rove just ... http://darksoup.com/2008/03/17/karl-rove-on-american-idol/ Join us! We are tintyping. We reject your plastic electronic computer keyboards which fatigue your fingers, rust your diners, and cause you to ceaselessly kowtow to Karl Rove. Tintyping is the future. It's a future where all the diners are rust-free, Karl Rove is ignored, and your fingers ... http://darksoup.com/2008/02/29/tintyping/ Today's movie script, fresh off the cookie sheet that bakes movie scripts, is an educational film called How to Act in a Cafeteria. You can enjoy this script either through PDF form, or just by continuing to read on for the plain old web page version. The choice is yours. ... http://darksoup.com/2008/02/28/how-to-act-in-a-cafeteria/